Court Declares Them ILLEGAL, UNCONSTITUTIONAL, and SAD!
In what legal scholars are calling “the most beautiful takedown of unconstitutional nonsense in modern history,” a federal court utterly obliterated Donald J. Trump’s beloved tariffs yesterday, ruling that they were illegal, unconstitutional, and basically just a flaming pile of bad ideas wrapped in a red hat.
Global pantsing
Let’s be clear: this wasn’t just a slap on the wrist—it was a globally televised pantsing of the self-proclaimed “Tariff King.” The court didn’t just strike down the tariffs—it dropkicked them into the sun, declaring that Trump had trampled on the Constitution with all the subtlety of a gold-plated wrecking ball.
Yes, the man who “knows more about trade than anyone, maybe ever” just got schooled by the judicial system in front of the entire planet. Again.
Humiliation highlights
- Trump’s tariffs were found to violate both statutory authority and constitutional checks. That’s a two-for-one FAIL.
- Legal analysts compared the court’s decision to “a flamethrower through a cardboard ego.”
- Global markets laughed. Diplomats facepalmed. And somewhere, John Adams rolled over in his grave and muttered, “Told you so.”
The ruling exposed what everyone already knew: that the tariffs were less about “national security” and more about “national insecurity.” A desperate man flexing executive muscle to distract from collapsing poll numbers and… you know, everything else.
Reaction from MAGA
Reaction from Trumpworld was swift and incoherent, with statements ranging from “Fake Court!” to “Tariffs are still beautiful!” and “It was Obama’s idea anyway!”
Ego Hall of Fame nominee
We at Braggadochio.com would like to formally welcome this ruling into our Ego Hall of Fame: Legal Edition – where truth, law, and ego collide in spectacular fashion.
Stay tuned
Stay tuned, patriots. Because if there’s one thing more predictable than gravity, it’s Donald Trump getting humiliated… again. More news.