“To Boldly Beg for Subsidies Where No Mega Yacht Has Gone Before!”
Step aside, NASA. Make room, science. Today’s space race isn’t about discovery — it’s about ego, PR, and building the world’s most expensive midlife crisis in zero gravity.
Welcome to the Great Galactic Grift, starring Jeff “Prime Directive” Bezos, Elon “Rocket Troll” Musk, and Richard “I’m Still Here Too” Branson.
These are not astronauts. These are space influencers with taxpayer-funded booster seats.
Subsidies in the Sky with Diamonds
They say capitalism builds rockets. But they forgot to mention that your taxes paid for the launch pad.
- Bezos: Took billions in contracts, sued NASA, then launched a suborbital joyride with Captain Kirk.
- Musk: Collected billions in government funding, then named his kid after a failed CAPTCHA.
- Branson: Took off once, then took a break — he’s the Myspace of space bros.
They are not exploring space; they’re colonizing the subsidy department.
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Branding
These guys aren’t in it for science. They’re in it for logos on rockets, crypto shoutouts from orbit, and exclusive VIP zero-gravity influencer experiences
Musk wants to go to Mars… but can’t even get a Cybertruck to roll in a straight line. Bezos wants to build space colonies… but he still ships rubber chickens in 8-pound boxes.
Space is no longer the final frontier — it’s the final marketing stunt.
Meanwhile, Back on Earth…
The planet is on fire, teachers can’t afford rent, our infrastructure is collapsing, and billionaires are playing “Who Can Touch the Kármán Line with the Most Phallic Rocket?”
It’s not a space race. It’s a compensation contest with thrusters.
Grifters in Orbit: Sponsored by You
Why explore the galaxy when there’s so much wealth to hoard right here at home?
They take the contracts. They cash the checks. They dodge the taxes. Then they slap an American flag on the tail fin and call it “innovation.”
We don’t need Star Trek. We need Tax Trek: The Reckoning.