“The Most Useless Legislative Body in the History of Civilization — Maybe Ever!”
Let’s be honest: Congress isn’t broken — it’s working perfectly… for billionaires. For the rest of us? We’re one tax loophole away from feudalism.
This isn’t just dysfunction. It’s a strategic demolition of democracy, orchestrated by a bunch of gold-plated puppets in flag pins and lobbyist-funded loafers.
Shutdowns, Showboating, and the Shiny Object Shuffle
Congress cannot pass a budget. They can’t raise the debt ceiling without threatening to torch the global economy. But they can:
- Hold 47 hearings on gas stoves
- Pass 0 bills on healthcare
- And read the Bible into the Congressional Record like it’s an open mic at the End Times Café.
They’ve turned governing into performance art, with all the substance of a Truth Social post at 3 a.m.
The Great American Shakedown: From You to Them
While the people cry out for housing, healthcare, and hope — Congress is laser-focused on giving away the country to the richest 0.01%. The 2017 tax cuts? A multi-trillion-dollar giveaway to billionaires and corporations. Corporate loopholes? So big, you can fly a private jet through them. The defense budget? $886 billion and growing — because nothing says freedom like subsidizing private weapons contractors while schools crumble.
Congress is not passing laws — they’re laundering wealth upward, wrapped in patriotism and a prayer breakfast.
The Senate: Where Good Ideas Go to Die Quietly
Mitch McConnell could stop a speeding train with a single raised eyebrow. But the Senate has become a crypt where common-sense bills get filibustered, insider trades get fast-tracked, and justice gets served on a chilled silver tray, courtesy of defense lobbyists.
Do you want clean water? Too expensive. Want a tax break for yacht fuel? Unanimous consent!
House of Grandstanding: Powered by Rage and Ring Lights
The House GOP has transformed itself into America’s premier rage content factory. It is not a caucus — it’s a crowdfunded conspiracy carnival.
They don’t write legislation – they write merch slogans and indictment fundraising emails.
Forget “of the people, by the people…” It’s now of the billionaires, by the influencers, for the shareholders.
Bankruptcy by Design, Treason by Spreadsheet
For those who have not figured it out, here is their real plan: starve the government, loot the Treasury, and then scream “crisis” and privatize what’s left. They’re not bankrupting America by accident. They’re doing it on purpose.
It is the ultimate hostile takeover — brought to you by the same geniuses who think trickle-down economics still works (spoiler: it trickled up).
Because in their America, billionaires get tax havens, corporations get bailouts, and you get GoFundMe for insulin.
The US Congress 2025
Where legislation dies, democracy cries, and lobbyists get prime parking.
If you’re not a billionaire, you’re just a funding source.